Swainomics and Reaganomics vs Obamanomics and Mondalenomics

Filed Under Policy Positions, What I Think of Barak Obama | 3 Comments

Chris Swain’s economic platform is molded after the the BEST President of the last Century Ronald Reagan. Reaganomics was about lowering taxes, providing incentives and creating economic growth.

Chris Swain’s economic views are exactly the same. Swainomics is a tried and true approach to make and keep a vibrant economy. Candidate Swain is an economist. He knows what works.

Ask yourself “Do you really trust a socialist raise your taxes and redistribute your money to policies that don’t work?” Just think “The Great Society” and “The War on Poverty” how many trillions have been redistributed to that lost cause. Did it work?

Obamanomics - We can’t “afford” his economic policies!

Oct

19

Chris Swain is the New and Improved Ronald Reagan for Presidential Candidate

Filed Under Media Anouncements, Policy Positions | 3 Comments

America has been yearning for another President like the “GREAT” Ronald Reagan. Well, the wait is over! Chris Swain is the only presidential candidate to come along who can fill the void that the Gipper has left this nation.

Presidential Candidate Swain’s views on evil are aligned with Ronaldus Magnus views. As a matter of fact, Chris Swain spoke of this during a recent interview at the “Conference For Keeping America Safe” rally in Duluth, Georgia before attending the Annual Georgia Gun Show. He said, “A vote for Chris Swain is a vote to continue Reagan’s war ‘In the Face of Evil: Ronald Reagan’s War in Word and Deed’ and keep American safe.”

Chris Swain said, “The stunned reporter was not familiar with the movie. I thought everyone has seen that highly awarded film showing Reagan kicking some major ass! If you haven’t I strongly suggest you see it today. ‘In the Face of Evil: Ronald Reagan’s War in Word and Deed’ pretty much sums up my stance on ‘The War on Terror’ and how I would deal with extreme radical thugs!”

When asked about how John McCain’s and Barak Obama’s stance on the issue Chris replied, “Those two clowns follow the Pee Wee Herman can’t we all get along approach to conflict. American just can’t afford to have Oprah and Dr. Phil in charge of foreign policy.”

Oct

17

Vote For Chris Swain Not the Worlds Biggest Boobs McCain and Obama Says Sexy Model

Filed Under Media Anouncements, What I Think of Barak Obama, What I Think of John McCain | 2 Comments

Why would a gorgeous model with the worlds biggest boobs want to vote for Chris Swain for President? Well, because both John McCain and Barak Obama are even bigger boobs!

When asked about Super Model Jennifer Stichen’s decision to undergo the surgery in her pursuit of obtaining the world’s biggest boobs candidate Chris Swain responded “Well I must admit, I do have a fondness for breasts. In my experience ‘bigger isn’t always better’ when we are talking about boobs. I’ve seen some pretty big boobs, but I wouldn’t be caught dead near them.”

He then added “Actually, I agree with a quote from one of my favorite movies ‘Weird Science’ when describing the perfect pair ‘Anything more than a handful you start getting yourself into trouble.’ However, to reference another of my favorite movies ‘Wedding Crashers’ that might run contrary to administering the ‘motor-boating maneuver’ to the ladies. Everyone knows I’m ALL about pleasuring the ladies so to answer your question I loved Jenny’s boobs before the surgery. There’s no way in hell I would touch ‘those boobs’ she’s sporting now.”

See for yourself why Chris Swain feels that way by watching the video. If it doesn’t load watch by clicking here.

Don’t Vote For Boobs

Woman Receives Largest Boobs - video powered by Metacafe

Oct

16

Senator Government Barak Uh Obama Sings the Uh Empty Suit Song

Filed Under Endorsements | 2 Comments

Moments after giving an inspiring speech to a “very energetic and wired group” to a filled to capacity crowd in a KFC parking lot for the National Crack-Head Convention in Atlanta, Chris Swain Headquarters learned that they received another endorsement.

The powerhouse organization “National Coalition Against Stupid Stutters” (N.C.A.S.S.) have thrown their support to candidate Chris Swain. In a press release issued by N.C.A.S.S. their spokes person said that “The choice is clear. After watching the third debate and listening to Barak Obama’s inability to deliver an answer without it containing an inordinate number of “uhhh, ummm, duhh, aaanndduhh” to mention a few we felt like we didn’t have a choice.”

N.C.A.S.S. further stated that “While Senator Government has an unusual ability to give a speech reading a teleprompter, what he does say is ’still stupid’ and sounds to socialist for our coalition to support.” When asked about John McCain the spokesman said “McCain doesn’t have a stuttering problem, but the Maverick still didn’t pass the ’stupid’ aspect for the majority of our members.” Further adding that “McCain believes in Global Warming and working with democrats to name a few issues we were concerned about. He would have got a better rating if he said he believed in the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Rudolph the “frickin” Red Nosed Reindeer.”

In the opinion of our members “Chris Swain is brilliant! He has a firm understanding of the issues, especially the economy. He is both eloquent and intelligent. We believe he can deliver on his promises too. His plan to teach every crack-head how to pass a drug test will do wonders for the unemployment problems alone. Yes, we believe that is a brilliant idea to get this economy back on the right track” the spokesperson said.

Barak Obama Sings the “Uh” Song

Barak Can’t Complete A Sentence - “Duh Empty Suit says Uhhhhh”

How Often Can Barak Obama Say “UHHHH” in 41 Minutes?

Oct

16

The Media Endorses Barak Obama and John McCain May Die in Office

Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Of course the the bias media is voting for Barak Obama. MSNBC formally endorses Obama for President. The Chris Swain Campaign is not disappointed at all. A spokesperson for Chris Swain said “That’s not news. This is news - The highly coveted “American Porn Star Guild” has formally endorsed Chris Swain for president Thursday afternoon.”

Chris Swain learned of the Porn Industry’s decision just before speaking at the National Crack-head Convention and vowed to continue his support for porn. “The freedom of expression expressed in porn has always impressed me. It’s the creativity use of music and plots that have always drawn me to love porn” Candidate Swain told reporters at his afternoon briefing.

When he was asked about Democrats tell voters McCain may die in office, a radio reporter gets fired for wearing Obama t-shirt to cover a rally and Kim Jong Il endorsement of Obama; Chris Swain asked “What’s new my opponents are pond scum and the media are jealous they weren’t hot enough to be in porn and have to just watch it.”

Surprisingly, the elderly love his spunk and cute butt. To show their extreme affection and support for their “Presidential Boy Toy” a massive group of “Bingo Playing Grandmothers” are so inspired by their candidate and one of Chris Swain’s favorite hit TV show “Sons of Anarchy” that they are strangely making a fashion statement to actually tattooing themselves right above their behind!

Who needs the “Hockey Moms” that Sarah Palin has swooped up when Chris Swain has the Nation’s Grannies clamoring for his political prowess on the issues! This new political icon is sure to make an impact on the presidential race with less than three weeks to go. “We are going to be peaking at the right time, just you wait and see who cross the finish line first” said a person close to the campaign on the condition of anonymity. They later added “Chris could out debate both the Empty Suit and Mav any time; any where even if he was nursing a hang-over and throwing up … bring it on.”

Stay tuned folks this story is developing fast!